‘I’m Feeling an immense urge to share a few things today. Get a few bits and bobs off my chest if you like. I gathered the best platform to do this would be a blog on my website. After all, it is my website and I wouldn’t won’t to bore or force my feelings on those who really quite frankly don’t give a toss about all my HAPPINESS & GRATITUDE! *Turn off now if you don’t like reading all things happy!*
Firstly, I just want to share thats its SO easy to get all wrapped up in feelings such as guilt when all you want to do is express your true sense of totes delight for life. Of course I have off days too, I’m human! but these days would be really boring to share as I don’t really get up to too much when I’m feeling shit. I tend to retreat, maybe shout at the boys a bit more than usual and dislike company. I stay away from people who may ‘stock my inner grump’. Why on earth would anybody want to hear about that? Plus, you can just pick up a magazine, a newspaper or switch on the tv for a good old fashion shot of doom and gloom right?
So be warned now, if you dislike reading about happy people and all the awesome things that we can enjoy and delight in, then now is the best time to switch on ya tv and switch off my chat. It’s ok, I don’t take it personal!
Here’s the thing. My life by no means has always been what it appears to be now; So the yoga teacher, with a handsome and very loving husband, two great son’s, a dog (who is to cool for school) and a nice long white house! Oh no siree, I’ve had my fair share of hardships don’t you worry about that. I hope to write all about those in the future. Many folk who know me as I am right now in the present moment may wind up a little bemused when I do!
Today’s huge urge to write comes from two completely different emotional battle fields. A deep embedded place of fear – Fear of the constant inner chatter of “Karly, your writing is so crap, don’t bother. You’re so illiterate, just keep your happiness and gratitude to yourself. Don’t expose the fact you can’t even spell, or you have no clue where to put the ,:&: when it comes to ‘correct’ writing”. and an immense amount of appreciation for life and all thing love.
I’m 43 and I say ‘fuck right off to the former’! (pardon my french, but my lack of vocabulary won’t allow for another way to express this pure amount of grit and passion!) I want to write. I want to express myself in doing so. Call it therapy, call it what you bloody like. It feels GREAT, and thats all I care about these days! My fear volume has been turned right down for now. 🙂
So, back to the point. Today has felt so uplifting. My heart is seriously bursting with gratitude for everything. Firstly, I’ve allowed time to write this, secondly, before this a whole heap of soul feeding stuff went down!
Yesterday was a brilliant, busy, working day. But to call teaching yoga work, feels like a bit of a con. It’s definitely work, energetically, physically, socially, mentally and emotionally, but its work that feeds all my cells with high energy and boundless amounts of love for people and life! Non of my previous jobs offered any of that! All the same, I was pretty shattered by the end of the day.
Today I decided to enjoy some me time. This is the beauty, and a huge benefit, of being self-employed. So, I woke up, couldn’t quite decide whether or not to pootle along to a 2 hour yoga session, or to stay home and get stuff done. I dwelled on it for a wee while and decided to go with the latter. I needed to walk Monty, so i decided to kill two birds with one stone and walk him to the local car boot. It’s a lovely walk, about 20 minutes each way.
We mooched about, stumbled across my mum selling stuff with her friend Mat, before walking home. As I walked home I bypassed a little stall that I often use to buy my local fruit and veg, as well as local ‘very free range’ and fresh eggs. We also strolled past a little wooden organic strawberry hut which is also just up the road from my house and purchased a nice punnet of freshly picked strawberries. Yummy on your tummy!
Once home, I busted open the garden shed door, with huge enthusiasm, pulled out my new (second hand actually) petrol lawnmower and mowed away – There is just something in mowing your lawn that can be so therapeutic. Especially when you’ve purchased a second hand kick ass new mower and you’ve a couple of spectators in the name of 2 little robin red breast watching you at work! So cute!
It was then time to sit down and enjoy a bit of hearty lunch (I also had Hula Hoops!)
To be able to buy food locally and support local producers feeds not only your belly but a clear happy conscious too. These little stalls are just up the lane by your house. I feel so lucky.
It really is the simple things in life that keep our souls happy and alive. I could have quite easily lined up more work for today, but I’m super glad I didn’t listen to that monkey. My soul needed feeding and its been fed very well! I’m SO happy and seriously grateful for life and all the things in my life. We can create a life for ourselves that we enjoy. It may take a few scary steps and a good bit of preparation and time in order to get there, but I’d rather die knowing I took that leap than stuck to the whats, ifs and buts.
Huge amounts of love to you all. Especially those who keep spreading the LOVE and inspiring others to do so.
*Fuck… can’t believe I just wrote that! Who said I can’t write? Not me!! Xx